Once upon a time, there was this cute couple. They went on dates and they went on trips and they went shopping……
And then they decided to go from a family of two to a family of three….
And things changed.
They didn’t go on as many dates, they still took trips but they were a little different and more laid back, and they still went shopping but, my. oh my, was it different…
I saw this #MotherFunny NickMom graphic and it reminded me how different things are with a baby. Especially shopping!!
Anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE Target. I love wandering the aisles while sipping my Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks. I love browsing the tchotchkes in the housewares department, and don’t even get me started on the seasonal items! I LOVE Target.
Since I had Avery those Target trips have changed. A LOT. We still go at least once a week. Oh, who am I kidding, we go at least three times a week. I still get my Starbucks, but what used to be a $3.00 expense now costs me closer to $15. “WHY?” You ask?
THIS IS WHY!
See that face? That face is saying “You honestly think I’m going to let you get away with only buying yourself a drink? Oh no, no, no, momma. You WILL buy me a milk and a pumpkin bread slice, and probably this bag of apple chips that I’m about to throw on the floor after leaping from this cart! You WILL buy me treats!!” And I do buy her treats because……well…because I’m afraid of what she’ll do if I don’t. You can say I’m spoiling her, but have you ever seen the Twilight Zone movie? The one with that kid, Anthony, who sends his family into the TV to be eaten buy cartoons or whatever? Yeah. I think Avery has those same powers. So, yes, I spoil her at the Target Starbucks! You would too!
Then we head out to look at clothes for mommy. Before kids (BK) I’d spend a lot of time looking through clothes and yes, even TRYING THINGS ON! And actually PURCHASING things for myself! After Kids (AK) I don’t.
I remember, BK, when I’d have so many reasons to buy so many pairs of jeans. Skinny jeans. Date nights, concerts, dinner with friends. I needed so many outfits!
Then I had Avery….and I need so many pairs of yoga pants. It’s the mom uniform you know. When you leave the hospital with your newborn, you’re supposed to head straight to the store to stock up on all the black comfy pants you can find.
OK, and here is where I throw in a picture to completely embarrass myself.
BK, My best friend and I would spend hours, HOURS at Target. Our trips always included a little thing we called “Target Fashion Show” where we’d choose the most ridiculous outfits, and I’d try them on, while she took photos
to later be used as blackmail to laugh at, and post on Facebook. Here are a few of those outfits….
Why am I revealing these skeletons in my fitting room? Well, because I rarely get to see the inside of those fitting rooms anymore. Not since I had a child. Nope. If I need to try something on now, I just buy it in two sizes to try at home while Avery naps. Seriously. If we even make it to the fitting room now, I pray that nobody else is in there because when it comes time to leave, you’d think Avery was being attacked by hornets. She screams and cries when I try to take her away from the “Baby” her new “friend” in the mirror.
That’s if we even get to the fitting room…..usually I’m too tired from playing “hide & seek”….
See, the kid doesn’t stop moving. Ever. You know how the make those little seats, right in the front of the cart? They have seat belts and everything! You see kids, happily sitting in those seats all the time. Not my kid. Nope. My kid doesn’t sit. My kid runs around. She redecorates. Apparently she thinks she knows more about store design, planograms, and how end-caps should look than the folks being paid the big bucks in Minneapolis.
I spend a lot of time saying “No, Avery, don’t touch. Put that back. Where does this go? Where did you find that? No, no, no! We do Not put that in our mouths! What IS that?! EW!!”
And the result?
Shopping at Target has changed, drastically since having a child. It’s not as relaxing. I actually spend MORE money. There is a lot more crying.
That said, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Avery is totally worth it, and I’ll admit, it is nice to have someone to carry the big stuff, and push the cart for me!