Why This Mom WIll NOT Support Josh Duggar
I try not to get political on my blog. I don’t like to start any sort of conflict here, but… Sometimes, I just can’t keep quiet on a topic.
As a mom, I feel that I need to speak out regarding a topic that has been all over the news and social media the past two days. A topic that I literally lost sleep over last night.
Josh Duggar.
If you have not heard/read/seen the news, Josh Duggar was accused of molesting 5 young girls, when he was a teenager. He has come out, and admitted that he did, in fact, molest these girls. He says, “Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends.”
I’ve been reading a lot about this Josh Duggar thing and I am absolutely shocked, appalled and disturbed by the number of people, the number of PARENTS, that are saying “oh, well, he was just a kid…he’s sorry, so let’s just let bygones be bygones, we all make mistakes.”
Here is a list of a few common, teenage mistakes:
- Taking your dad’s car without asking.
- Cheating on an exam because you didn’t study.
- Sneaking out to go to a party your parents told you you couldn’t go to.
- Hosting a party while your parents are out of town.
- Getting a tattoo of your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s/Taylor Swift’s face.
Hmm…You know what isn’t on that list? “Sexually assaulting, or molesting elementary and preschool aged girls and siblings” Why? Beacuse that’s not a “teenage mistake”
No. That’s a CRIME.
What he did was commit a horrific crime. A crime for which there were no real consequences. No real punishment.
Had he murdered someone at age 14, he would have been arrested, and at least put into a juvenile detention center, if not tried as an adult. However, in this case, it was all pushed under the rug, hidden, until it was no longer, legally, an offense that could be prosecuted.
His family did not report these crimes until after the Statute of Limitations had run out (3 years in Arkansas) There is nothing “brave” about that. They knew he wouldn’t be punished, and in my opinion, only did it to clear their own conscience of these terrible acts.
Now, of course, he didn’t murder anyone. and I’ve heard people argue that comparing it to homicide is “over the top” and comparing apples to oranges. It is different, but his actions have had an impact, most would say life-long, on all of the girls he did this to, as well as the other members of his family. He may have to live with what he did, but those girls have to live with what was done to them, they didn’t have a choice. While his confession and apology may give them some kind of closure–at least he’s admitting what he did to us–it doesn’t change what they went though.
He was a serial child molester, who now has children of his own. I’m no expert and I do not know if he’s “recovered” however, I find it hard to believe that going off and working construction (As mom, Michelle Duggar has stated was his “treatment”) would be any sort of effective “rehabilitation” for a sexual predator.
While I can understand and appreciate the concept of living in a “sexually repressed” household, and I understand religion (I am a Christian myself, though, not a fundamentalist like the Duggars) that is no excuse. This was not “experimentation” or “testing boundaries” this was sexual assault, plain and simple. He didn’t just do this once, he did this over and over and over again to multiple girls, including his younger sisters.
I hear the “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” argument. Ok, fine, you’re right, none of us are perfect, none of us are without sin, but that does not excuse all the sins of others. I’m fairly certain that Christ wouldn’t be ignoring the seriousness of this act and saying “Hey guys, let’s give this guy a break! We all sin!! You’re forgiven!” without any kind of consequence. (I could post a few Bible verses about the treatment of children, here, but I believe that the Bible is open for interpretation and I don’t want to turn this into a Theological debate) And, please, don’t get me started on all the stones the Duggars have cast over the years (and are continuing to throw amid these allegations) Because we all know, holding hands or kissing someone before marriage or EEK! homosexuality, are terrible, inexcusable sins, for which you’ll probably go to hell, but child molestation? It’s all good, there! FORGIVEN!
It sickens me to know that people are totally fine with him just going about his life, like none of this happened and that his parents were ok with him just getting a lil church counseling, working construction, praying about it, and continuing to live under the same roof with their daughters who he molested! He committed one of, if not the most heinous crimes.
Let’s also take a look at this quote from Josh Duggar:
“I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.”
Did you read that last part?? Let me make it clear
“I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.”
He would ruin HIS life. His. I think it’s important to note that he doesn’t say “I was ruining the lives of these little girls” Nope, just his.
Oh, but he confessed, and he said he was sorry…grant the kid some grace!
No. Nope. Now Way. Never.
Why??
I’ll tell you why!! Here is most important part of this story:
What are we teaching our girls?
Are we telling them that it’s not really a crime to be sexually assaulted…as long as the attacker is a teen, white, from a good Christian home and asks God to forgive him his transgressions? Or, since it’s your sibling, we will just not tell anyone because you wouldn’t want your brother to get in trouble! Think of what it would do to our family (and our reality show income!) Plus, you’re just a girl, and girls are to be subservient, you’re just learning how much so at a very early age. That’s what Michelle and Jim Bob are telling their girls. And, those defending Josh are telling their girls the same thing, by excusing his actions.
Sorry, but I’m not ok with that. I want my daughter to know, and I think most mothers and fathers would agree, that if ANYONE hurts her, or does anything of a sexual nature to her that she is not comfortable with, I will do everything in my power to validate what has happened to HER, not to her attacker. I will support my daughter, I will listen to her, I will believe her, I will love her and I will help her.
I want her, and all females to know, that a sexual assault is NEVER their fault. NEVER. And there is never, ever, ever, any excuse for it. It is ALWAYS wrong.
Why are we supporting the Josh Duggars of the world? Giving them grace, letting them hurt young girls, and letting them get away with it? We should be supporting the girls, our girls, all women.
They are the victims in this.
Not the Josh Duggars.
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Update: I’d love to respond to every comment, but unfortunately, I just can’t at this time, so I wanted to address a few things that came up a lot in your comments. Regarding my statement that Jesus wouldn’t be so forgiving, I should clarify. Jesus would forgive, certainly, that’s what he’s all about. I just don’t think he’d be so “Oh well, no biggie” about it as so many people seem to be. As a Lutheran, I believe that Christ died for our sins and through faith we are saved. Period. That said, it is not my job to forgive Josh Duggar. Should his victims choose to forgive then I am 100% for it, if that is what they need to do for themselves, on their personal journey to healing. However, I don’t think we as a society should be so quick to just say “Forgive and forget” in situations such as this, because while it teaches forgiveness, it also ignores the greater impact on women and girls.
The whole point of this post was not to revel in the suffering of the Duggars, It was not intended as a means to bash them in order to make myself feel good. I don’t feel good when others suffer. I also did not have any strong opinions on the Duggar family prior to this. I have watched the show a handful of times, and truly had no interest in them. Did I think they had too many children? You betcha, but it is their life, and it doesn’t impact me at all. So, no, I do not “enjoy” the suffering that I am sure every single member of the family is going through right now, but this is far too important of a topic to ignore.
My feelings on this topic would be the same no matter who the offender was. It just happened that this particular case became headline news, and prompted me to write about it.
I also want to thank everyone who shared their personal stories. I think it is both brave and strong to share your experiences in such a public way and it can only move to help others who may be in a similar situation.
Also, I greatly appreciate everyone who took the time to read, and comment. There are some great and valid points being made, and it has opened up a wonderful dialogue here, and hopefully in your own lives.
Please note: While I respect everyone’s right to their opinion, and you are welcome to express those opinions here in the comments, please be kind to each other. No fighting, or nastiness. I will delete inappropriate comments, and if I see things get out of control, I will disable commenting completely.

Let’s just wander down the path of forgiveness for a minute. It 100% ((((!!!)))) does not excuse what he did. But, if those girls are able to forgive him, they will still be forever wounded by his actions. 30 years later, 60 years later, 80 years later, they will always carry that with them and their lives (including their sex lives) will never be what they could have been. He has stolen that from them.
I do want to say that I saw a man named Matthew West in concert and during this performance a woman came out and told of the darkest time of her life. It inspired him to write a song and I think it’s worth taking a few minutes to read her story because it is beyond what I believe I (and most people) are able to do. (this is not about sexual assault, but about forgiveness, fyi) http://www.matthewwest.com/the-stories/the-story-forgiveness/ Please take the time to read beyond the first paragraph if you don’t want to hear another “religious” story, although this is definitely a tale of faith. Her story will blow you away!
Also it struck me that had the statute of limitations (which doesn’t run out for murder and should never, ever run out for sexual offenses, especially to young girls) had expired, those men who wind up in prison are tortured for their actions (mess with a kid or an animal and you are shark bait!). This is how nearly all of the world views sexual offenses. Oh, and calling it “molestation” simply downplays what it really is!
By the way, the woman in this story and the man appeared TOGETHER on the stage. So, like I said earlier, I think forgiveness is possible. Forgetting, becoming somehow unaffected by Josh Duggar’s actions to you – that is simply not something that’s possible. I speak from personal experience (and no, I was not one of the Duggar kid’s victims).
Jen recently posted…RESCUE!
I was sexually molested as a young girl–on several occasions, by and adult in-law in my family. I affected me more than I realized as an adult. I had forgiven the abuser but I had this horrible guilt and shame from me to me. I got counseling and Jesus in point of fact totally set me free. I can’t describe it, but when I broke through, I was totally free. This child-teen had a problem and need/needs proper professional counseling for it. If he is truly repentant, he needs forgiveness. When we hurt one is society, we hurt all of the society. So Yes dear website owner, you do need to forgive and pray that this person has gotten the help he needed/needs, and the same for the girls. It’s often our own displaced guilt that causes us continued pain. Once you are truly free, you are truly free. It’s not gone totally. My therapist said it would be like a pebble in shoe that you will always feel in some way. But there are many pebbles that can tend get into our shoes in life. No one gets out of this life scar free. I just love how the Oprah people and others are just loving seeing another Christian had a sin problem. If he had true grace from Christ, it will no let go of him or those girls. The media is just now trying to further smear Christianity with this, and that is another sick part of this whole thing. If it were a Hollywood player, it would get half the negativity and more sympathy. The hypocrisy.
I totally agree with JJ I am a sexually abused person, I was never counseled but I am totally set free by the counsel of Jesus himself. Whenever I told my principal I was not taken seriously because it was not looked down upon at the time I am guessing. Boys will be boys so to say. I will never forget the shame and humiliation of several times being assaulted at the tender age of twelve. It had made me bitter after a while and I thought all guys did this. I can tell you it made a big difference in the way I treated my husband when ever I married. But after a while I felt God calling me to let him help me so I asked for forgiveness even though I had done nothing wrong to get this sort of treatment, I was a modest young girl, but always seemed to be the target of such things. Never a flirt, never ogling boys because I was afraid of them. Is there any wonder? I hated myself for years. But as I said Jesus helped me to deal with it and I got delivered of these awful feelings. I am normal and I have dealt with my problems and I am a good wife and mother. I was very protective of my children in that I asked them if people bothered them in inappropriate ways, though. I kept an eye out for different signs. Thank the Good Lord they were never touched like that in any way. They are married and have families of there own. I think often of what I could have or should have done but I don’t know if it would have made a difference. I am just thankful that I can forgive the ones that did it. They were kids like me exploring and I know it doesn’t look good or feel good to the ones that were assaulted but the boy was exploring I don’t believe he meant any harm to the ones that were assaulted, they never do. I know the ones who assaulted me didn’t mean to cause me mental stress but it was undue mental stress. I have forgiven and all of us have no right NOT to forgive Josh Duggar. We don’t know his life or what he has done to pay for the things he did. God is the judge and He says to forgive those who have spitefully used you. I don’t think it was spite that drove him but I do believe we have a mission to forgive him no matter what we feel. It’s a new testament command. I forgive him, and he didn’t do anything to me. Why should we do any less than what Jesus did. He forgave the ones who killed him. Are we any better than he is? No!! We all have sinned and have come short of the glory of God. Those of you have no sin cast the first stone. Oh!! I forgot! Alot of us already did, and we are no better than he was at the age of 14!! Check yourself at the door people God is looking at us as individuals!!! I’m sorry but it’s hypocritical to talk about someone who has already asked forgiveness and been forgiven, to talk about someones past sins and say hey Im so much better because I haven’t done this I’ve only _______________. Sin is Sin read your bible!
Thank you so much for this comment! I have kept out of this conversation for days just because so many people who post, post vicious attacks on this family because they are Christian. Yes, what Josh Duggar did was incredibly wrong and hurt others in a way some people would never understand. Yes, this situation should have probably been handled differently, but it was not. Finally, what very few people fail to realize is this situation is NONE of the public’s business. If Josh was truly sincere in his apology to these girls and he repented for what he did AND these girls truly accepted and took to heart his apology (like you mentioned) then the only one who should have any sort of a say in this is the ones involved and God. So many people want to burn people at the stake because they are Christian or because they disagree with what they have done, but, very few realize they hurt these victims more doing so AND their words are merely opinions formed out of judgment and unfortunately, sometimes, hate. Thank you for shedding some new light on this situation.
The attacks are not BECAUSE they are Christian. It’s because the father lied and covered up a crime until statutes of limitation were past. The son molested his own 4 younger sisters and the father still did not report it in a timely manner as to get justice and closure for the girls. He claims he is a Christian. But he did not do the Christian thing here. I wish everyone on theses posts would stop making it about religion, what’s written in the Bible, or forgiveness. It is about a crime that was committed against at least 5 girls. And he got away with it. No jail like anyone else. No type of punishment because daddy hid the facts. All the people quoting Bible verses and forgiveness need to think about the fact these girls have had to live with, work with and continue smiling on tv with their molestor. If you or anyone else thinks they have truly forgiven, you are way off. They MUST show the world they are fine as not to disrupt their show. Remember, the ” show must go on” ? But now that the show is cancelled, you might start hearing differently, unless daddy still makes them keep quiet for the family. No one seems to understand that we have laws to protect us. A crime was committed by one and the laws that are supposed to protect failed due to the fathers lies and covering . This isn’t a matter of FORGIVENESS, ,whether the girls forgive or not. It’s about a horrible crime that was committed and no one was punished for the crime. That’s it. It’s only about the crime!!!!!!!! He skated on a charge and now that it is too late to prosecute, they come forward and all of a sudden, SORRY. And expects forgiveness. And a LOUSY apology at that.
KT64. I beg to differ. When a crime is committed, it is everyone’s business. That’s why we have public court records and court hearings. Why anyone can walk into almost ANY court and sit and hear all about the crime committed and who was charged. Still forgetting, just because he was only 14, doesn’t make it any less of a crime. If, a 50 year old man just fondled a child with clothes on and were caught, he would have to pay for his crime. And everyone would be posting wanting to crucify him. But. Good ol Josh And family Duggars have a fan base, a TV show. And live without electronics so they have to be true and wonderful people, 100% honest and perfect Christians. So. Nooooo. He is a good boy who just made a mistake… Boys will be boys….ummmm for a whole year with 5 girls. Nah, he didn’t do anything wrong.”.
Your comment “they will be forever wounded” really limits the healing power of God. Some may be forever wounded, but not all. I have received complete healing and do not want you speaking for me.
You don’t sound healed. You sound bitter.
Thank you for saying so eloquently how I feel. I have been thinking about the girls a lot and hoping the girls received real counseling. I can’t imagine being a child and having to live with a sexual abuser. I believe in prayer, but I believe those girls needed/need counseling from trained professionals. I have a horrible feeling their counseling consisted only of how to forgive their brother.
Thank you Laura, I too hope the received counseling, but like you, fear that wasn’t the case. It seems their main focus was on protecting Josh and helping him.Why This Mom WIll NOT Support Josh Duggar
Sarah recently posted…
Just something of interest. I turned on TLC and it says that “19 Kids….” is supposed to be playing, but they are playing “The Little Couple.”. I watch TLC a lot, but I’ve probably watched “19 Kids…” a total of 5 times since it’s been on. I suspect TLC is running around like crazy, since they have been playing a “19 Kids…” marathon. Eeep. Oh well, TLC.
Jen recently posted…RESCUE!
I too, have only seen the show a handful of times. I agree, TLC is probably doing some serious damage control behind the scenes!Why This Mom WIll NOT Support Josh Duggar
Sarah recently posted…
It was just announced that the show was yanked off the air.
Thank you for being one of the few voices of reason. Thank you! Being Christian doesn’t give you extra rights. Those girls will carry those scars to the grave. Trust me, I know!!!
They have cancelled the show. TLC will not be airing the series anymore. They are doing the exact same thing like they did with Honey Boo Boo. When the mom was found to be having a relationship with a registered sex offender. I thought that when it can to child molestation the statue of limitation expires 3 years after the child’s 18th birthday or is that just in some states.
The statute is different in every state. Some are 3 years after the 18th birthday, some are 5 years, etc. I believe this situation is different because the offender was a minor at the time of the assault, but that is just a guess on my part.
I by
i too stewed and brewed on this for hours I am a survivor of sexual abuse and all I can say is how upsetting it is that they focused on the abuser instead of the victims. The parents chose to do what was in HIS best interest. I am appalled and shocked by this story but what makes it worse is those poor girls who had to sit by quietly while he remained in the home. I am a Christian and 100% believe in forgiveness what makes me mad is that the abuser /molester was the one who’s future was protected. While the girls future was not…apart from side hugs
The victims have not spoken. They are all adults not. When they report what was done to them, then we can all have an opinion and take sides on the issue. We know only what Josh has told us. There has been a lot of conjecture here, a lot of so-called explicit detail imposed upon the little we know. The so-called crime has become the most heinous as it can be by people who know very little about the case. Some have assumed that there was rape, penetration, and violence. Much of what we are reading comes from those who have been violated and who seem to be imposing on this case all the shock they have experienced themselves. One can understand this and even sympathize, but it appears we are going beyond the facts of the Duggar case in an attempt to reopen a case that was long ago closed, legally speaking. Now there are some who are suggesting that Josh molested girls because he was himself molested. Next thing we know, some family member will be implicated. It’s like gossip: it can’t be stopped once it is started. We should put an end to using Josh Duggar as a whipping post for all the complaints we hear about molestation. It is an abhorrent sin. Who in their right mind can justify it. But it is a forgivable sin. The victims and perpetrators have to deal with it — the former by finding God’s grace sufficient for the offense, and the latter by applying God’s grace to overcome the shame and any punishment meted out. In the final analysis, justice must run its course, and we don’t need any “kangaroo courts” to perform that function. When human justice fails, there is a all-righteous Judge Who will set all things right one day. It is our task to defend the weak, to rebuke and hold accountable the unrepentant, and to encourage each one to roll our burdens upon the One who promises to sustain us in all life’s trials. He is Able!
I read the 33 page police report. He touched the girls in his sleep and while they were awake. The touching was above the clothing and beneath. He also touched their vagina and breast. It was documented as a felony and called forcible touching. The girls stated the touching was unwanted. This was not a case of kids experimenting and playing doctor. One of the victims was 5 years old. He molested them for over a year. He didn’t stop when dad confronted him. A year later dad found out it was still going on and that’s when he was moved out the house to do manual labor.
There is no indication of the age of the children involved. Most of the children were asleep and did not remember (not that this in any way excuses the behavior), and the incidents happened over the course of a year, but not repeatedly day after day. The police report indicates a handful of times, at most. Clearly, he was struggling with some crazy teenage hormones and urges and did not know what to do with those feelings or how to get help. And clearly, his parents were grossly unprepared for dealing with such behavior (as I believe nearly all parents would be–who is prepared to deal with their son molesting their daughters??? What parent would not stop and question how to handle that?).
B – Yours is the first comment/post I’ve seen that recognizes how difficult this would be for the parents. If it were a stranger, uncle, cousin…it seems to me that the way forward would be much clearer. You must protect your own children at all coasts. But when the offender is also your own child? I think it would be very difficult to know the right way to deal with this situation. While it’s not popular, I do feel empathy for the parents.
I’m curious who abused him? The trouble with abuse is that it’s a cycle – and NOT just an independent act or a “teenage mistake”. Please, don’t misunderstand, I am not suggesting that he was in the right or that he didn’t deserve to be held accountable for his actions. I also don’t believe that being abused gives you a right to continue that cycle. But we talk about these girls and what they suffered (and will continue to suffer), but because he continued the cycle, it no longer matters if he had been abused?
I was abused by my own family, and it was mostly covered up for years and years. I certainly understand the impact it has on a little girls life forever. I also know that those who abused me had also been abused against their will – and most of what I endured wasn’t meant to be harmful, it was largely experimental because they didn’t understand what had happened to them.
Does it excuse what they did? Not at all. Can I forgive? I’m working on it, though it’s been nearly 30 years. Can I forget? No way, I’m reminded daily and just pray that my own children never have to endure what I have.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, maybe there’s more to the story. I think he probably needed (and still probably does) real counseling just as much as the girls do.
Thank you for sharing! I think you make a very good point! It’s absolutely true that it is (or can be) a cycle. I don’t know if we will ever know for sure if he was abused and if so, by whom. I don’t think it “doesn’t matter” if he was also abused. I think that is an important fact–however, we do not have that information. We don’t know if he was abused or not. I’m sorry for what you went through! I think it is important to note, that I feel that forgiveness is on the terms of the abused. If these girls want to forgive him, if that helps them get through this painful journey, then I am completely supportive of that. My issue is that I don’t think we as a society should so easily forgive those who commit these crimes. I think that sets a terrible example for women and girls. And I agree 100% that he absolutely needed/needs real counseling!
I agree that the forgiveness is for the abused to work through. We wouldn’t ever have heard about this horror if he wasn’t “famous.” I also agree that abuse CAN BE a cycle. I was molested as a child; I do not molest children. Curious, I am so sorry for what you went through, but my assumption would be that you are not a sex offender. I just wanted to make that point. I am not giving Josh an out but I don’t think it’s fair to make an assumption, either.
Jen recently posted…RESCUE!
Thank you. You are the first person I’ve seen mention the cycle factor. It does not excuse his actions, but most likely Josh himself was a victim of sexual abuse first.
Finally some one who had the same thought as me. There is a saying that all offenders are victims, but not all victims are offenders. When I first read the story my first thought was I wonder who touched him first. I myself was molested by a close family friend when I was a little girl. He was a teenager. As we got older it came out that he had been abused as well. I spent my college years studying Criminal Justice with the goal of being a special victims detective. In one class I wrote multiple papers studying pedophilia. Its easy for everyone to say hes a horrible person, but as a victim and a woman who forgave my molester I can honestly say, it is possible for a TEENAGER who committed these acts to be a different better person 13 years later.
While there is a slightly higher incidence of past sexual abuse in sex offenders, this idea that all sex offenders were abused is just inaccurate. Here is a study that I think all of you should read to give you some perspective on the real numbers: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2082860
as a victim of abuse similar to this, it is a slap in the face for every woman and child who suffered this to see him get off free. I am sorry. and now the judge destroyed the case papers and the police claim there are no papers. I am sorry he should be put on trial. he was set free for his crimes.
Louise , finally a person with reason! Exactly, crime committed, should have a person responsible to be punished. He is Scott free never to pay for what he did. I for one have read a lot on child molestation and sexual predators. It is very doubtful that he won’t do this again at some point. That is a mental sickness that so far no doctor has been able to cure. Ask any single predator in jail and they will all tell you they can’t help it. They are drawn to it. They will all do it again. If it had just been once , I will even give you twice, could be experimental. But doing it for a year to 5 girls is a sickness that he can’t just stop. He should be behind bars.
My problem with all of this…..he confessed all of this to his wife and her parents BEFORE they married and she still married him and now has innocent, vulnerable children with this “man”. Every person who knew about this: his parents, the police, his wife, her parents, the construction boss, etc, should ALL be held accountable and be punished!
Be punished for what? Josh is the one who did something wrong…and if the stories are true about his parents waiting to tell authorities…then they too are at fault…but no one else is at fault in this. And everyone deserves a second chance and the right to be forgiven. Jesus forgave each one of us…and we are supposed to live as Jesus lived. He forgave whores, murderers, rapists…whatever as long as they turned away from their sin. So Josh now deserves the same. People want to beat a dead horse and continue to punish people forever. That’s not how it works. I am not agreeing with his actions or his parents’ actions…I’m just saying…we are supposed to forgive. And furthermore, if the victims have forgiven him…then it’s none of our business.
You are completely breezing by the part where he apologized and “came clean” AFTER that statute of limitations was up. His parents knew what he did and hid it to keep him from being prosecuted. He’s not sorry. He’s sorry he got caught.
Ben, thank you so much. I was beginning to think everyone is insane. The comments from others about forgiving him?? Nothing here about the horror the girls endured. And to anyone out there telling yourself it is ok for young girls to be raped, molested, etc, because boys will be boys. You are justifying rape. All you have to do is forgive , Sorry, I believe you need to feel being a mother of a 5 to 10 year old girl who cries every night. Who is afraid to leave the house, who now can barely function. All because “BOYS WILL BE BOYS”????? Sometimes, this is called RAPE. Sometimes it is dropped to Assault in a plea bargain. But either way, the victim doesn’t always survive it and sometimes they can’t get back to a normal life. sometimes the girl ends up killing herself , sometimes the rape kills them. Anyone Condoning this behavior with forgiveness is absurd and belittling the value of the victim and what they had to endure. Your saying it’s ok. .?? What will you feel when it’s your child that was raped or sodomized or beaten to death for fear she may tell someone? No no no I will not forgive anyone who hurts a child. I don’t care how many other fools that do. I believe Josh Duggar and any other molester, rapist, whatever, should be forced to get their penis cut off. This is not ok and never will be. I personally would like Josh Duggar to have to experience what he did. But most of all he deserves prison. He does not deserve anyone’s forgiveness.
I agree with you Carrie and Ben. Forget about all the Christian rhetoric here there are plenty of “Christian men” in prison for doing what this guy there. The parents are guilty for knowing this and not somehow having him pay the penalty others have paid for the same thing. This is about the victims not the criminal, which he is. As far as I’m concerned his parent obstructed justice.
The saddest part of all, if this guy was gay, his parents would have bigger issues than him being a child molester…AN INCEST CHILD MOLESTER. Yes forgiveness for the healing, letting his guy get away with is is not the same and to me seems like a case of entitlement.
I’m not a fan of the fundamentalist lifestyle, but to each their own, we have that freedom in our country, but to protect a child molester is not acceptable. PERIOD..
How can you possibly know what he was thinking? Seriously! Get a grip on reality and stop judging so harshly.
Alison, yet another person who cares nothing about the lifetime of pain survivors of abuse endure. Shameful, Most sickening part is so many of you whining about a child molestor being judged too harshly are probably parents, and your children deserve better than you. Because they are definitely not safe in your care. Sickening. People like you, Alison, are why child abuse is still so rampant. You are part of the problem. Continuing the cycle right along with the abusers themselves.
That’s not true. His parents took him to a police officer long before the statute of limitations was up.
His parents DID take him to a police officer…..one who is now in prison for over 56 years for child pornography. That officer probably made the situation worse.
They took him to a family friends who is an officer of the law. This family friend did NOT fulfill his legal duty and file a report. He did not remove the abuser from the home until an investigation was complete. He did not instigate any investigation whatsoever. He gave Josh a “stern talking to.” That is NOT reporting to law enforcement. That is bringing in your cop friend to try and scare your kid straight. Not even sort of the same thing. At all.
The police report indicates that it is unclear how well the father new the officer. The father knew the officer because he owned a used car lot, and the officer inspected the cars. He was not a family friend. And there was no way that Josh’s father could have known that the officer would be arrested down the road. It’s absurd to think he would have knowledge of that before the officer was caught or that he would have taken his son to a man like that intentionally. Either way, he took him long before the statute of limitations was up.
Jenny forgiving doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punished. HE COMMITTED A CRIME. He should have to pay his time in jail and be listed under the registry for sex offenders, just like any other molester, because THAT is what he is.!! Police did NOT do their job at all here. They hid it along with the parents because they were famous. Probably got a nice pay day from it too!
Jenny, unless something has changed???? Not reporting a crime you have knowledge of can be considered a crime in itself.
I can’t remember if I wrote this already, but I was molested as a child. The police were called in (helpful since my father was one of them) and a report was filed. Since the “man” had a psychiatric hospitalization (and maybe had gotten out shortly before that – details aren’t clear about that part of things), he wasn’t charged. I DO NOT CONDONE what the Duggar family did, but he isn’t the only child molester to get off without punishment. This was over 30 years ago. I think at this point the girls really are getting ignored. They are the victims and they are the ones who have to cope with this.
I want to know if the girls in their hearts really forgave him or if they felt they had to voice that because it’s what they were being taught or told they needed to do. I don’t think all really forgave him. I think they were coerced into that because that’s what they felt they had to do to make mom and dad happy.
I also want to know for those who believe prayer and asking for forgiveness was enough… do they believe that for all child molesters? If that’s the case, would they be ok with every single child molester currently serving time to be released and immediately allowed access to their children as long as they pray and ask for forgiveness? The Duggar did go on vacations and trips without all the kids leaving the older kids in charge… so Josh was left unsupervised with his victims many times.
As a victim of child rape and molestation who was told it was horrible of me to even discuss it and threatened with beatings after I told my teacher and she called my parents… 25 years later I still remember her asking me the next day what my family said. I told her the truth. Thst my family said if I ever discussed it again I would be beaten. She said ok well at least they know and walked back in the class. I still remember that. Painfully so.
That being said since he confessed to even one and then multiple offenses… I believe there should be no statute of limitations. He admitted to sexual touching a 5 year old for Christ sakes. He needs to be labeled a sexual offender and predator, then thrown in jail. I think many are forgetting he has a girl child at home the same age of those he victimized.
I’m just beyond disgusted at how this family handled things and how they are wiping it under the rug with a “he prayed, asked forgiveness, and all is well” mentality. How can Michelle even look in the mirror knowing she allowed the man who sexual assaulted multiple children/siblings of her stay under the same roof and be ok?
I’m sorry… I just… yeah.
Exactly. And for the record regarding my other comments, I would probably feel much differently had he and his parents faced up to what he had done in a timely manner, and if his apology hadn’t been so self-centered.
Me too
Preach Girl!!!!
I too, do not agree with what Josh did, and obviously he doesn’t either. I understand the resentment from all walks of life (not just the people on this blog) and I understand the pain and hurt it caused the victims becuase I have been there. But I’d like to make light that although it wasn’t right, that does not make it right for people to antagonize him and his family. The Lord is the ultimate Judge and He soon will judge all of us. And in His eyes, the sin of molesting and gossip are just the same. Please please women and men of the faith, be gracious and kind in the words that you think and say. I agree that our ypung girls need to know that sexual perversion is NEVER normal or okay, so i ask you to instead of posting all over social media, talk with your kids in private about it but don’t demean your own reputation by trying to rip others down in order to compare or esteem yourselves or your family. The truth is that, probably, anyone of you would not have asked to have your son taken away from you in order to be put into juvenile prison. Also, none of us know the amount of couseling or what counseling went into Josh and the girls after all was out. What Josh did say to the press, was probably a very quick “interview” asking about HIM specifically and not about what he knew or had seen or had asked about the girls. Please be careful in your assumptions from just a few words. Instead of tearing down let’s ask ourselves, our husbands, and maybe mentors IF this situation came about in our own familes how we would handle it. But not spread it all over social media to tear down. Let’s try to be a solution instead of a problem.
This is so well said, thank you for making the time to write it out so well.
I agree with most of the points. The Duggers handled this very wrong. I don’t agree with everything the Duggers do or believe. The only thing that bothers me is that you are a Christian but believe homosexuality is not a sin. Jesus clearly says it’s a sin and that it’s punishable. Is he lying? Yes, Christian are to be loving and forgiving…but sin is still sin and we can’t accept that. (Not saying that we should throw stones and insults at them…but we shouldn’t acknowledge it as “ok”)
Hi Adrienne, Yes I am christian, and no, I do not believe that homosexuality is a sin. I am a Lutheran (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America) and I believe that God created us all to be who we are. If you are gay, it is because you were created that way. I do not believe in a vengeful, God who punishes his children by throwing them into the pits of hell (In fact, I personally don’t even believe in hell, I believe our hell is on Earth and we create it for ourselves..but this is another topic all together) There are many “sins” in the Bible that we ignore, cutting our hair for example…and many things in the Bible that we now know are awful and vile, like slavery. Anyway, that’s all I’m going to say about the topic. Thank you for commenting
I have never read that cutting hair was a sin. There’s a separation between the Old and New Testament. The Old Testament was for the Jewish Nations. The New Testament is for all nations. And while God doesn’t condemn slavery, I think people forget the original intentions. If a Jew found themselves in tremendous debt they could sell themselves to slavery. However, the owner was expected to treat them with respect. There was a large Jewish festival every 7 years and all the owners were required to release their slave and wipe their debt clean. Man’s idea of slavery was not God’s. I appreciate your response. I see Christianity as a discipline. Some people are born with sexual desires, violent desires, etc. As a Christian we are to suppress these to become more Christlike. God gave us the free will to make choices. I don’t know much about Luthern but I am intrigued to learn more about what is taught. (I am non denominational)
The bible absolutely has restrictions on cutting hair, as well as eating shellfish and pork, and many other practices that are ignored by modern Christians. Where in the Bible does it say that God’s laws from the OT no longer apply? Does Jesus not explicitly say that God’s laws have NOT been replaced, but that they are still to be followed? From a theological standpoint, the sacrifice of pure blood opened the promise of salvation to all people, not just God’s chosen people. But it never states that God’d laws are now moot. Christians root their beliefs in the Ten Commandments, which are from the OT and were for the Jewish Nation, but few follow a kosher diet, also in the OT and for the Jewish Nation. Where does it say that some laws don’t apply? If homosexuality is a sin, so is eating bacon, as the NT specifically and explicitly states that God’s laws are eternal. And in God’s eyes, every sin is equal. There is no difference between the sinner who eats lobster and the sinner who is homosexual. There is no difference between the murderer and the prideful. So when Christians eat shellfish or cut their hair, it makes it pretty hard to stomach the obsession some Christians have with condemning homosexuality.
There are 3 divisions of law actually: moral, ceremonial, and civil. Ceremonial laws such as hair cutting, shellfish, mixed cloth types… were to set apart the Israelites as a special chosen people and do not apply to the church today. Moral laws such as sexual deviance ( homosexuality is clearly and undebatedly in this category, along with murder, lying,…) still stand and are affirmed multiple places in the NT. Jesus fulfills and affirms these laws. So, no, we do not “pick and choose.” Homosexuality is just a hot topic nowdays with people trying to shove it down our throats
Can you quote the part of the bible where it says that some laws only apply to the Jews and some laws apply to everybody? Where does it say that? Where, in Leviticus, does it differentiate between the abomination that is homosexuality, and the abomination that is eating shell fish?
Lev. 18:22
‘You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.’
Leviticus 11:9-12
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
Where does Jesus say that those who believe that he is the Messiah no longer need to follow certain Biblical laws?
Matthew 5:17-18
17 “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.
18 “For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished.
Where does Jesus say that the law of Leviticus that bans homosexuality is not to be broken, but that the other laws in the exact same book of the Bible are to be thrown away? Are we to believe that when Jesus said that God’s law is eternal, he didn’t really mean all of God’s laws? Then how do we know he meant the ones about homosexuality?
I would encourage you to find a church that preaches correct Biblical doctrine as these ideas are not consistent with the Bible. Read the story of Lazarus and the rich man that exhibits a literal hell not of the world of the living. There are other passages as well. God isn’t casting us to hell. We are given a choice, and His holiness cannot accept sin.
Also, homosexuality is stated clearly as a sin NT and OT under moral law which still stands today. (There are 3 types : moral (ex: lying, sexual immorality including homosexuality, etc) , civil, and ceremonial (that’s the hair cutting and kosher laws and such that only applied to Israelites to set them apart). New studies are debunking the “gay gene” theory anyway, but even if we are “just born that way” with a certain proclivity to sin (for example lusting) it does Not give us license to sin. By your logic it’s ok for a drunkard to keep drinking or a serial killer to keep killing. Jesus said go and sin no more to such people.
I encourage you to read the Bible and a reliable commentary (john macarthur is great) on these subjects.
I even did it in KJV-Leviticus 18:22 Thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination.Leviticus 20:13- if a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Then we move to NT-Romans 1:27-and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemingly, and recieving in themselves that recompence of their error…
Does not say homosexual but clearly defines it.
Adrienne, that is a common misconception. In reality, Jesus never said anything about homosexuality one way or the other.
Does it matter who said it- 1 Corinthians 6:9- or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revivers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 10- such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
Whether we like it or not these people can be redeemed.
Check the KJV, which is considered one of the most literal translations. I know there is a more literal one out there,but the point is not that. The point is that not every version uses the word homosexuals, and that is an interpretation. In many versions, the word homosexual is never used… therefore it is not made quite as clear as you think it is.
Exactly, Rena. Some Bibles use “effeminate” The word homosexuals is a modern day translation. (People playing with words to prove their own belief. Original text used the word “malakoi” which was referring to men who were apt to be lazy, or cared “too much” about their appearance or were vain.Microfashion Monday: Baseball Style
Sarah recently posted…
Outline of Biblical Usage for effeminate-Malakos
soft, soft to the touch
metaph. in a bad sense
effeminate
of a catamite
of a boy kept for homosexual relations with a man
of a male who submits his body to unnatural lewdness
of a male prostitute
I even did it in KJV-Leviticus 18:22 Thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination.Leviticus 20:13- if a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Then we move to NT-Romans 1:27-and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemingly, and recieving in themselves that recompence of their error… Does not say homosexual but clearly defines it. – See more at: http://sweetlilyou.com/why-this-mom-will-not-support-josh-duggar/#comment-78676
Sodom and Gomarroh were destroyed partially due to homosexuality. Open your eyes people it is a sin! What Josh Duggar did was a sin. We can’t pick and choose which ones we want to obey! The Sodomites were destroyed for the general wickedness which had prompted the Lord to send angels to the city to investigate in the first place; (2) the city was destroyed because the people of Sodom had tried to rape the angels; (3) the city was destroyed because the men of Sodom had tried to engage in homosexual intercourse with the angels…; (4) the city was destroyed for inhospitable treatment of visitors sent from the Lord.[1]
Are you equally appalled by those who eat pork? This is a sin in the OT, the same section of the bible that condemns homosexuality. Jesus is very clear that he does not replace God’s law, and that God’s law is eternal. If Christians, as you say, can’t pick and choose sins, why do most Christians not follow the laws in Leviticus? If God’s law is eternal (as Jesus said), if the rules of the OT apply today (as you say), and if God asks believers to be obedient and all sins are equal (as the bible says), then why can Christians cut their hair and eat lobster? Either the laws of the OT apply to Christians, or they don’t. Either God’s law is eternal, or some of God’s laws are only specific to a certain time and place. You can’t pick and choose, either.
Adrienne, as a Bible Scholar I can assure you that Jesus said absolutely nothing about homosexuality being wrong. This is a frequently parroted talking point but has no actual merit in reality.
Thank you Catie!! Exactly.
What religion are you a scholar for and what bible are you reading? In mine it clearly states that he destroyed a city due to wickedness and homosexuality What Josh Duggar done is clearly a sin, and so is homosexuality the bible states that there is a woman for every man and a man for every woman. I’m floored at the amount of people that consider themselves Christians that are saying homosexuality is not wrong. Now don’t get me wrong I have homosexual friends and I love them to death, however it is wrong and they will have to answer to the Lord for their sins not me, same as abortions it’s wrong but that doesn’t make me dislike someone who had one. The point I’m trying to make here is that wrong is wrong and right is right the Duggars should not Sv throwing stones at the homosexuals with this skeleton in their closet bc his sin is punishable by the exact same punishment.
Adrienne…smoking, partying, pre-marital sex, not obeying the law, disrespecting your parents are all sins as well. Do you speak out about each one of those topics? You don’t get to pick and choose which sin is worse than another…and we are all sinners.