They Make Wipes For That: A Public Service Announcement

I have a few pet peeves. People who don’t say thank you when you hold the door for them. When you’re in the express check-out and the person in front of you has 50 items. Uggs with sweatpants. People who use “wolfs” instead of “wolves” These are a few of the things that irk me.  But there is one thing that really makes my skin crawl.

Babies. With. Dirty. Faces.

Seriously!  This is the one thing that bothers me the most.  Babies are cute.  I always want to snuggle them and kiss their cheeks. But not when those cheeks are caked in three meals worth of carrot puree. It truly isn’t hard to wash your baby’s face. They even make wipes for this.  What’s that?  You won’t use wipes because you don’t want to put “harsh chemicals” on your baby’s face? Well, thank goodness that nature provided moms with the purest of facial cleansers. Mommy spit. Seriously. It is what moms have used for centuries. Maybe you think that is gross?  Well, there is also this stuff called “water” it is readily available at a faucet near you!

I know that this “Baby Face Washing” procedure may seem complex, so I will provide simple, step by step instructions.  Complete with photos for all you visual learners!!

Here we have Avery with a messy, milky face:

Step 1: Wipe baby’s face with a cloth, or wipe.

Ta-Da!!!  Your baby now has a clean face!

If you follow that simple step, I have faith that you too, can have a clean-faced little one! 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I think it’s adorable when you see those photos of baby’s with Spaghetti-O’s, that they just ate, from their chin to their eye-lids.  I just can’t tolerate the baby with ice cream all over his face…..from 4 hours ago.   I’m pretty sure that babies hate having crusty faces, so please, for the love of all things holy, wash them!!


  1. Jeni says:

    It squicks me out to see older babies covered head-to-toe in food. I consider face-wiping part of a general program of Infant Dignity Maintenance … and really, it’s not THAT hard (as your illustrations prove!). :-)

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