The Reason I Don’t Follow Recipes

I really enjoy cooking.  I like trying new recipes. I like eating.  I hate recipes.
I often post on facebook when I make something new, and many times I’m asked for the recipe.  The problem is, I rarely follow a recipe.  I usually find one for something, then change it, mix it up, wing it a bit.  I swap out the gross ingredients for ones that I like (I’ve been called “picky” though I disagree, I just know what I don’t like)

Last night I made Orange Chicken Teriyaki.  I used a recipe that I found on Pinterest (of course) and followed it to a T…..

Here it is:

Slow Cooker Chicken Teriyaki

So I followed the directions (leaving out the ginger and garlic because I didn’t have any)

Set the crock pot, and headed out.

Now here is why I can’t share MY version of this recipe with anyone…

I got home, a couple hours later, and the house smelled amazing.  I went in to the kitchen to check on the chicken and discovered that the crock pot was filled with what would most closely resemble chicken jerky, or a dog treat.

I shut off the crock put and removed the chicken, as my dog, Daisy, looked on, praying I’d drop a piece.

I didn’t want to start over, so here is what I did…..

My recipe….

-put baby in exersaucer

-Pour a glass of wine

-lean against kitchen counter, trying not to cry over the loss of “all that chicken”

-angrily grab fresh chicken breasts from fridge

-pour in more apple cider vinegar. Not a lot, but not a little.

– add a couple more scoops of orange marmalade

-yell at dog for begging and trying to get into the trash can in search of chicken jerky

-plop in a clump or two of brown sugar

–go get baby and put her in her high chair so she can “help” mommy cook (she’s making that cranky whiney noise)

-decide you want the chicken to be “extra orangey”

-add another heaping tablespoon-ish of marmalade

-wonder if it’s “liquidy” enough

-pour in a bit more soy sauce

-toss in chicken

-turn on crock pot

-realize that chicken cooks in less than an hour and wonder why original recipe said 5 – 6 hours  (and why did you “listen” to that recipe when you KNEW that sounded like a very long time for chicken breasts, even in a slow cooker)

-make rice

-cut up chicken

-pour chicken over rice and consume

-be very satisfied with how it turned out, and plan on this being a staple in your monthly menu

-realize that you will never be able to make this again as you have absolutely no clue how much of anything went in to the recipe.

-pour another glass of wine

So there you have it folks….My recipe for  the delicious Chicken Teriyaki that we had for dinner last night, and will never have for dinner again!


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