I am a mother to a daughter.
A beautiful, brave, strong, firey, and spirited little girl.
And I am afraid for her.
I sit here, having just read an article about the Stanford rapist. That’s what Brock Turner is. A RAPIST. I sit here, and I want to cry. I want to cry for his victim (another incredibly STRONG girl) and all girls, women, daughters, mothers, sisters…. I want to cry because we are failing. We are hurting our women. We are letting men hurt women and get away with it.
Brock Turner was caught in the act of brutally raping his victim while she was unconscious. UNCONSCIOUS! Behind a dumpster. He came upon an unconscious woman, and didn’t think “Oh my god, let me help her! Is she ok? I need to call an ambulance!” No. He thought “Perfect opportunity to rape!”
And then I start thinking… That could be my daughter.
She’s small, I expect she’ll always be small. How would she fight back against a man much bigger, much stronger than her. And you can’t fight back at all if you are unconscious…
Don’t get drunk. Don’t walk alone at night. Don’t wear inappropriate or revealing clothing. Don’t be flirty with guys because you may give them the wrong idea.
That’ what we teach our girls, right? Don’t be a victim…don’t make yourself a victim.
It is her fault after all, right? Right?
That’s what Judge Persky seems to think. That’s what Brock Turner’s dad wants us to believe.
Poor Brock… Poor olympic hopeful, wonderful young man, smart, kind, Brock. He was struggling. He felt like he didn’t fit in. He was drunk, and didn’t know what he was doing. It was an error in judgement. Poor kid, he shouldn’t be harshly punished or just “20 minutes of action” he’s so remorseful, he can’t even enjoy a perfectly grilled rib-eye steak! Poor Brock! He’s a victim too, right?
She shouldn’t have gotten so drunk. Had she not been there, Brock Turner wouldn’t have raped her, right? Plus, Brock say it was consensual. Because we all know an unconscious person is capable of consent, right? RIGHT?
Wrong. So m***er f***ing WRONG.
Everything about this case, like so many rape cases, makes my physically ill. In fact, It has taken me days to write this post because I can’t get through it without feeling sick.
It’s just another case of letting a violent rapist get away with his crime. It is another case that shows we are doing this all wrong in our judicial system, and society as a whole.
Like I said above, we spend so much time teaching our daughters how not to get raped. Because we think of it as this inevitable thing that will happen to them if they aren’t following the rules for being female. “Look honey, you have something that men want, and they are not capable of controlling themselves, and they will attack you in dark alleys, bars, your own bedroom if you give t hem any slight inclination that maybe, you want them.”
Men can’t control themselves….especially when they are drinking. Isn’t this jut a known fact? The judge in this case said “there is less moral culpability attached to the defendant, who is … intoxicated” So we teach our girls that it’s on them.
Just thinking about this, I am seeing stars and feeling dizzy. This is all BACKWARDS.
We can’t hold this MAN accountable for his actions, because he was drunk. But, LADIES….if you drink, whatever happens to you is your own fault. You should have known better.
How about we teach boys not to rape! STOP RAPING WOMEN!
There’s 20 minutes of action for you Mr. Turner!
Take 2o minutes and teach your sons to respect women. It doesn’t matter how they are dressed, how many times they winked at you from across the bar, how drunk they are, if they said they love you, if they went home with you, if they let you come home with them, if they kissed you….YOU DO NOT RAPE THEM. No actually does mean no. In fact, if they are drunk, and say yes, that means no, too. A drunk person can’t consent. You know who else can’t consent? An unconscious woman. You see that Brock? An unconscious woman cannot consent. Your 20 minutes behind the dumpster, slamming her into the pavement below, tearing her skin, bruising her body, was NOT consensual.
I’d love to think that in 2016 I wouldn’t feel the need to teach my daughter how not to get raped. I’d love to think that in 2016 we actually punished rapists, to the full extent, without worry that “This will really impact the rest of their lives” Ya know, since it was only “20 minutes of action”
Brock Turner received 6 months in prison, 3 years probation, and has to register as a convicted sex offender for his entire life. 6 months in jail. 6 months. He could have been given up to 14 years. A sentence more fitting of the heinous crime he committed, but, he got 6 months.
He got 6 months because the judge didn’t want this to have too much of a negative impact on his life. This was just a mistake, his first offense, he’s a nice WHITE, college ATHLETE, a CHAMPION, from a family with MONEY, by all other accounts, a nice young MAN. So…we don’t want to ruin HIS life.
Like he ruined his victim’s life.
And we wonder why men keep on raping…and why victims don’t report it.
We have to keep telling women “It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault….” while cases like this are proving that the system thinks “Welllll……we can’t really put the blame on the rapist, can we? I mean, you WERE drunk….sooo….”
We refer to a violent rape as “20 minutes of action.”
So, I am terrified for my daughter. Brock Turner’s victim is my daughter, she’s your daughter. This could happen to any of our girls, and we need to do something to stop this epidemic. We need to hold rapists accountable, stop blaming the victim, stop worrying about how we might ruin the rapists life, stop putting these rich, white, athletes on a pedestal, stop teaching these boys that they are entitled to have or take whatever they want, and STOP RAPING!
I am terrified, and I will continue to teach my daughter that there are real life villains out there. And some of them hide out on college campuses, with sparkling blue eyes, and gold medals around their necks, waiting for the right moment to attack, and destroy your life.