My Perfect Mother’s Day

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Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I’m seeing so many posts about what makes a “perfect” day for moms.  Some of them make me sad. The ones saying how a perfect Mother’s Day would be spent alone…as far away from the kids as possible.

I’ll be completely honest here. I get it. You need a break. We ALL do every now and then.  Being a mom is hard work! And, if you are a stay at home mom to little ones you NEVER get a break (EVER!) We all want a day. One day where we can take a shower and wash AND condition our hair.  Go to the bathroom with the door CLOSED. Eat lunch before it gets cold. Go shopping ALONE. We all want that day.

The thing is, I don’t think Mother’s Day should be that day.  Maybe Memorial Day, Boxing Day, next Tuesday?  Maybe one of those days is better to skip town, grab a bottle (or box) of wine, head to the spa or the beach, or Target (I don’t suggest bringing the wine to Target) I think Mother’s Day should be spent, celebrating being a mom, with. you. children.

I’m not at all judging the moms who want to run away to a far off land known as Neiman Marcus or sip drinks with tiny umbrellas, or lay in bed, with the door locked, reading romance novels.  You do whatever you want, mommas, it is YOUR day.  But for me?  That doesn’t feel right.

I know I’m new to the mom thing. I know I’m only a year in. I know I can still remember what it was like to pee, alone.  I know I need to “just wait!” and I’ll “see”  Buuuut.  I really LIKE hanging out with Avery. And Dave. I like doing family things. I think Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) are meant to celebrate as a family. Without Avery, I’d have nothing to celebrate. Without Avery, I wouldn’t be a mom. She is a huge part of the day for me. She is the REASON  I get to celebrate.

And then I think about the moms I know who have lost children.  I think of how they must feel on Mother’s Day. They are still moms, but they no longer have that child to spend the day with.  Lives are precious, and can be taken away in an instant. (This goes right along with how I feel about Birthdays.) I would feel terrible complaining about spending the day with my kids, or begging to spend the day alone, when there are moms out there wishing they had one more Mother’s Day with their kids.

I’m not saying that this should be just like any other Sunday.  Trust me. If my Mother’s Day were spent like the other 51 Sundays in the year I’d be pissed. (Unless it is just like one of the 2 Sunday’s we spent in Disney World. That would be glorious!) I mean, it is a Holiday and it should be special. I don’t think we, as moms, should be forced in to our usual duties.  I won’t be making dinner, I wont be doing laundry, I wont even be changing diapers (something I haven’t told Dave about yet…) You should go and do something special, take a day trip (we’re thinking of going to Boston) try something new. Or,  maybe you want to stay home and hang out. Work in the garden, watch movies, build a couch cushion fort–whatever floats your boat! Just spend time with your kids!

So, even if you would much rather be out getting a massage, or eating a lobster while overlooking the ocean; stay home…let your kids give you a foot rub and make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while you look out over the backyard. Hang up the picture they drew for you, find a spot for the bean plant or the mums they grew for you in school, demand extra hugs, make them wait on you hand and foot, just don’t miss out on a Mother’s Day with your kids (and don’t let them miss out on being part of the celebration)

You can run away from them next Tuesday.

Target will still be there.

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