You all know I love a good debate, so of course I wanted to weigh in on the newest and hottest trend in Mommy Wars! Overachieving Moms Vs. Everyone Else
A lot of moms have been discussing this over the past few days and here’s my take on it!
Apparently, I am ruing the lives of mothers and children across the land! You got that right folks. I am a ruiner of lives. Why? Because I enjoy making hand print bunny rabbit cards for Easter and 250 goody bags filled with peanut-free candy and trinkets to hand out on Halloween, and I do photo shoots with Avery every time she gets a new outfit and I spend hours a week pinning crafts that I want to do in the future.
I am a terrible person. At least, according to the moms who hate overachieving moms. And the thing is, I really hate being called and overachiever. Because I’m not. I’m not over-doing anything. Honestly, I’m lazy. I’m one of those people who usually does the minimum. Really. Except when it comes to Holidays!! Then I go all out, because, why not?! IT’S THE HOLIDAYS!!!!
I grew up with a mom who loved to celebrate, and was always coming up with new crafts (30 years before Pinterest!!!) From Wreaths made of fabric scraps, to dolls made of corn husks, ornaments made of match boxes with little mice sleeping inside, and those boo bunny ice packs made of washcloths (yeah, I’m 99.9% sure my mom INVENTED those) She was always making something. She taught me my vowels and consonants by writing a book. SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT VOWELS AND CONSONANTS!!! My photo albums of my childhood feature poems and creative writing. She made Dirt cups (you know, chocolate pudding with gummy worms inside) and then went the distance and made Beach cups (blue jello with graham cracker sand, gummy sharks, and an animal cracker relaxing under a tiny umbrella (I also think she is the inventor of these summer treats) When I had friends over my mom would create scavenger hunts for us. Did she do this for the attention? No. Did she do this to one up the other moms? No. She did it because she enjoyed it! Was my mom better than my friend’s moms? No. (well, maybe..I mean, of course I think my mom is the best mom EVER!) Did she love me more? That’s debatable. (I’m adopted, so I’m pretty sure I’m loved more than most kids, of course.) But the important thing to remember here, is she did this because she enjoyed it. (And she still enjoys it. Dave and I got Easter baskets last year, and an egg hunt the year before. We’re in our 30s. My mom could totally retire from Easter Bunny duties, but she chooses not to.)
I fully intend to have elves visit around Christmas, the Easter Bunny will hide hundreds of treat filled eggs, Leprechauns will stop in on St Patrick’s Day, maybe Cupid will even make an appearance on Valentine’s Day, and don’t even get me started on the Tooth Fairy! She’ll be a regular guest in our house. In fact…… she may even get one of these:
I’m hearing moms saying that when you go above and beyond, and handout homemade Valentines you’re “setting the bar too high” That other kids will start asking why THEY don’t have custom valentines, and that the children begin to expect this stuff, and become spoiled little brats. I may have been spoiled, and I may have been bratty at times, but it had absolutely NOTHING to do with my mom making personalized ornaments for everyone in my Sunday School class. Every family is different. Every family does what works for them. Some moms bring a box of store bought cookies to the holiday party, other moms bring these:
I don’t care if you give my child a generic valentine with a puppy on the front that you grabbed last minute at the Dollar Tree. Really. She’ll be just as happy with that as she would be with a hand stamped and embossed heart made of homemade paper. Really! But don’t get all pissy because she gives your child a pressed leaf placemat as a Thanksgiving gift!
But, I do wonder why my craftiness (something I enjoy!) bothers these other moms so much. Who is it hurting (other than my husband and our bank account) that I spend a whole lotta quality time wandering the aisles at Hobby Lobby, and the women at Joann’s know me by name. Maybe you play tennis, or spend your weekends tending to your herb garden. I’m making tutus, and goody bags for Avery’s 1st birthday party, or baking cookies for my husband’s coworkers (yeah, I’m THAT wife, too!) There isn’t anything wrong with that. Just like there isn’t anything wrong with YOUR hobbies.
Like I mentioned, I’m not really an overachiever. You only see the finished product. What you don’t see is me trying to get paint off the floor and out of the dogs fur after she jumps up on the table, sending the full dish of paint flying across the room. You don’t see me racing across the yard as Avery crawls over to a pile of dog poop that I didn’t see when i sat her down for an impromptu photo shoot. You don’t see my husband rolling his eyes when I jump up from the couch saying “I have an idea!!! Do we have any chicken wire?” But, I still enjoy it! Every paper cut, every broken nail, every dog poo covered shoe (ok, I don’t really love that last one. Fortunately it’s only happened once.)
So instead of judging me for being an “overachiever” and destroying the lives of other moms, can you please go back to judging me because I formula feed?
I could go on forever here, but I’ve gotta go draw faces on the hand print bunnies that Avery made for Easter.
Check out these great posts from my fellow Over Achieving moms!
Filling Our Bucket:How About We All Do Our Own Thing?
keekoin: Overachiever Mom. Underachieving Every Day.