What is the deal with these hormones?
I used to be a girl who wasn’t really bothered by much. I didn’t get sad about things. I didn’t get my feelings hurt often. It took a lot to really upset me. I could get mad, but I wasn’t often bummed out. I wasn’t a sap. I didn’t get all worked up over Hallmark commercials (OK, maybe that’s a lie…I DID cry at a few..) I wasn’t one to cry over a song on the radio.
Then I had a baby.
Before Avery, if someone didn’t like me, or if they said something mean, I would just shrug it off. “Oh well, their loss” (or…I’d get angry and say something back) But now if I think someone doesn’t like me, I lose sleep over it. Laying awake thinking “Why? What exactly did I do?” and then annoying Dave by asking him “What do you think the reason is? I think they are talking about me behind my back. Do you think they are? Do you think it’s because I don’t like Vera Bradley bags or stilettos? Seriously. Tell me. What is wrong with me?” I suddenly have reverted to the level of “Middle-School-Emotionally-Ridiculous” Remember that phase where you totally read in to everything? Every single AIM away message “MUST” be directed at you. I’m shocked that I haven’t started writing people notes and folding them into triangles.
I also never cried at movies, or during sappy commercials. Now I find myself crying during Dance Moms. “*sob* Oh I’m soooo proud of Nia! She deserves to be top of the pyramid! Finally! *sob*” And don’t even get me started on loves songs on the radio! I can’t imagine what the people next to me at the stop light must have thought this morning as I lost it over “American Honey”
And seriously Sarah McLachlan…….
This is NOT Postpartum Depression. I went through that for a month right after Avery was born, so I know the difference. Back then I wanted to run away with my baby. We’d live in a cave and years from now hikers would spot us, take blurry pictures, then every hillbilly in Appalachia would be talking about their Wild Momma and Child Sighting….
But now I’m just……EMOTIONAL.
It’s not just tears of stress or sadness. I cry when I’m happy too. I cried today because I saw a “reaaaaalllllllyyyy cuuuuttttteeee” dog being walked down our street. Seriously. This isn’t “me”
And I want it to stop.
I know it’s normal.
I know pretty much all women experience this.
Knock it off!