Archive for October 19, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Time for Maternity Clothes?

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I packed away everything that no longer fits….here’s what’s left

The Weekly Bump: 15

EXHAUSTED!

I thought I’d start a weekly post about this pregnancy, I know some people are interested (sorry if you’re not) and it’ll be fun to look back on as time goes on.  I’ll try to post a weekly “bump” picture.  I didn’t take one this week, so I used a photo of how I Feel!

This week, Baby is the size of : an apple!

How far along? 15 weeks and 2 days

Due date: 4/4/12

Total weight gain/loss: +4lbs

Maternity clothes? Not yet…I’m growing out of everything but not round enough for maternity clothes to fit right!

Sleep: What’s that?

Best moment this week: Getting some baby clothes in the mail, and feeling like we can relax a bit now that we’re out of the “danger zone”

Movement: None really, still too early I think, though there are times when I think “Was that the baby? Or just indigestion?”

Symptoms: acid reflux, sciatica, restless legs, mild headache, dizziness and back pain

Food Cravings: Pasta, cheese whatever someone posts on facebook that they are having for dinner!

Gender: I “feel” like it’s a girl, but too early to tell!
Swelling? Nope, in fact my wedding band and ring are falling off!

Feeling toward Pregnancy: Still in shock that this is all real!

What I miss: Sleeping, feeling rested, being able to climb the stairs without being out of breath.

What I am looking forward to: Finding out the baby’s sex, and going on vacation!

Friendships Lost & Found

Best Friends

You’ve been friends since kindergarten, but suddenly after you announce your pregnancy, you see and hear less and less of them.

I’ve been noticing a lot of changes lately in many of my relationships.  Some have been really positive changes, some have been negative, but all have been eye-opening.  I guess when I found out I was pregnant I thought everyone would be thrilled, and really supportive.   I’m not naive, I know that no one will be as excited as Dave and I (though my cousin may actually be even MORE excited than we are) However I didn’t anticipate the changes, good and bad, that I’d see in other relationships.

I don’t have as many things in common with some of my friends anymore. Yeah, we still enjoy the same TV shows, and the same foods, but we can’t just jet off on trips on a whim, we can’t go out on Friday and Saturday nights every week (not that we did this anyway)  I obviously can’t drink, so going to a bar on Sunday afternoon to watch a football game isn’t really something I’m interested in doing.  9pm is now a late night. My money is going to diaper bags, and car seats instead of concerts and casinos.  It’s a big change.

Other friends already have children, and while excited for me, between soccer practice, and tumbling tykes they just don’t have the time or energy to care about if I’m cloth diapering or what brand of crib I want to buy.

It is important to remember that it’s MY priorities that are changing. I’m the one having this baby. My friends are not changing their lives. But maybe we are headed in different directions.

I’m not alone in these feelings, and I’m not crazy. The New York Times blog Motherload sites a CLIC Sargent study:

After pregnancy, respondents reported that their old friends often fell out of touch while a new circle took its place.

A massive 48 percent say their focus since having a child has been on establishing a “circle of trust” with friends they feel comfortable to turn to in their hour of need.

And they’re most likely to meet new acquaintances in the school playground (44 percent), nursery (32 percent) and coffee mornings (22 percent).

One in 10 have even met new pals at the gym.

The days of going out and partying seem like a lifetime ago for three-quarters of new mothers, with a quarter failing to meet up with their old friends at all anymore.

Old friends from school and university are deemed too far away to help out for two-thirds of the mothers polled, and 6 in 10 reckon other mothers are more in tune with their thinking and behavior that comes with being a mother.

Four in 10 feared feeling socially isolated after giving birth but nearly half actively joined groups, fund-raisers and community projects to help meet new people.

Not all the changes have been negative though.  While I’ve grown apart from some friends I have discovered some new ones as well.  I’ve found some amazing women who live near me, who are moms and offer support as well as some amazing advice.  I also have friends who are also pregnant, and it has been wonderful sharing this experience with them including the good, the bad and the absolutely disgusting parts of pregnancy that you can only discuss with other pregnant women.

I am so very grateful for the new friendships, and the ones that have only gotten stronger, but I do truly miss some of the pre-pregnancy friendships that seem to be fading away.

Did you “lose” friends when you had kids? Did you realize how different your lifestyle was from your friends? Did you make new friends?

Wordless Wednesday: Our Pumpkin Family

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Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Pumpkins from Schartner Farms in Exeter, RI (Our favorite local farm)

She has your nose!

I really want need this baby to look like me.  I pray every night for blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. For the sake of this child I also pray that it does not have my complexion. But the eyes, and hair….Please God!!  Dave has brown eyes, as do his parents…so I know the cards are stacked against me having a blue-eyed baby, but I’m holding out hope.
I know all mothers feel this way to some extent, it’s why we always tell the mom “Ohh she looks just like you” even though we know, in reality her little red-haired freckle faced daughter looks EXACTLY like her mother in law.   But for an adoptee, who has never looked like anyone in her family, it’s all the more important.

My dad is Italian (and Norwegian) He has dark, wiry hair, and deep-set eyes, he’s tall, he has the ability to tan in the sun. He looks exactly like Chef Boyardee. (seriously)  My Mom comes from a mixed background of German, French, English and Irish with some Native American thrown in for flavor. She’s also tall, with dark hair, and so tan in the summer you’d think she bathed in coffee.  Then there’s me. Average height, strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, and skin so pale that I’d be lost if nekkid in a snow storm. (My mom used to say it was “peaches & cream” The cream may be accurate, but there ain’t no peaches here. My skin is white as copy paper) I have a little “pug” nose and some barely there freckles. In other words, I look absolutely nothing like my mom and dad.

I can’t say this really bothered me as a child, or even as an adult. I have cousins who look enough like me that people often thought we were sisters. People always commented that I looked just like my Nana. But it was different for me, while I do have the same nose as my nana, and I do have the same eye and hair color as my cousins, I still looked different. Especially from my mom and dad.

This baby will be my only blood relative. I have a very strong desire to have a family member that looks like me, who is clearly “mine” who is clearly a part of me.

Do your kids look like you?  Your spouse? The mailman?